Monopoly
by ProudAthena
Summary: Chapter 4 now up. Time to stop playing games. Set prior to end S5. Rated T for mention of nakedness in relation to Col O'Neill. All reviews much appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Author's note – this is just a quick piece that's been floating around in my head. I think it stands alone but if inspiration strikes I might come back and add more.

Disclaimer – SGC and all characters remain the property of MGM, etc (except for Captain Rice, who is completely fictitious). Monopoly and Oprah, Dr Phil, etc, ditto as above, they're nothing to do with me.

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'Sir, exactly how long did it take you to put this together?'

'Two days, Carter, two days of physical and mental effort.' He looked up from his masterpiece just in time to catch his 2IC rolling her eyes. Hurrying on, 'But that's not really important now. Come on, grab a seat, and take a load off. Danny and T will be here in a minute.'

'Um, sir, I'm not sure I really have time for this right now. When you said it was important I kinda thought you might mean something … ' she hesitated, not wanting to hurt his feelings but not wanting to entirely let him off the hook either ' … more important than … this.'

'Like what, Carter? What could be more important than keeping your CO occupied in his time of need?' He waved his arm, the one that wasn't encased in plaster from shoulder to wrist. 'Stopping me from going completely around the bend from boredom?' He ground to a halt.

'Sir?'

'Okay, Janet said that if I didn't stop bothering her nurses she'd sedate me and leave me naked in the Gate Room. You can't let her do that to me,' his eyes pleaded with her 'do you know what Captain Rice would do to me if she found me naked?'

Sam couldn't help the laugh that burst forth. Captain Rice was 5'2", 150 pounds of hard packed muscle in a buzz-cut and she visibly salivated in the Colonel's presence. There was a part of Sam's brain wouldn't have minded seeing a naked Jack O'Neill unconscious on the floor of the gate room either but she couldn't, she told herself, in all good conscience leave him to the tender mercies of Captain Rice.

She gave in and sat down on the chair next to his bed. O'Neill gave a gentle air punch with his good arm. 'Yes! One down, two to go!'

'Ah, Sir, does Teal'c even **know** how to play Monopoly?'

'Yep. Taught him myself when we went up to the cabin. Got sick of him asking where my TV was.' He leaned over slightly closer to Carter and lowered his voice, 'You know I've been thinking, the fastest way to get rid of the Goa'uld might just be setting up some sort of Cable relay to Chulak. If the rest of them are anything like T, they'd be too busy catching re-runs of Oprah to do much else.' He leaned back on the bed and closed his eyes in satisfaction at a job well done 'System Lords would be pretty pissed if the Jaffa started telling them they couldn't destroy anybody this week because Dr Phil's doing a special on 'Talking with your Teen'. No Jaffa and before you know it the Goa'uld would be history and I could get back to my nice, quiet retirement. What d'ya think, Carter? Got potential?'

Sam was saved from having to respond by the timely arrival of her teammates. Teal'c gave her a nod of acknowledgement and turned to the Colonel, 'O'Neill. I am glad to see your health is improving although I have inferred from my conversations with Dr Frasier that you are a less than co-operative patient of her facility.' Teal'c fixed his friend with a heavy gaze. 'It is not my first wish to do so but if you do not obey the directives of your physician in these matters I may be forced to harm you further.'

Teal'c allowed his threat to settle gently for a moment before shifting his gaze back to Sam, who was struggling to contain her laughter. 'Major Carter, was I correct in hearing Colonel O'Neill has come up with a suggestion to undermine the power base of the System Lords?'

Before she could answer, the Colonel butted in with forced humour 'Oh, no, nothing serious, buddy, just a little joking around. Between friends.' He fixed Carter with his own death glare 'Right, Major?'

'Oh. Yes, that's right, just joking around.' She shot a glance at her CO, 'That's the **naked** truth.' Confident her own threat had not gone un-noticed, she settled back into her chair with a smile.

'Right, Carter, very funny. Everyone's a comedian now.' Turning back to the last member of the team, he smiled 'How's it going, Danny? You up for a game of Monopoly with the old man here?'

Daniel hung back in obvious apprehension 'Do I have to, Jack? Last time I played cards with you and Carter I ended up with 6 stitches and had to have a tetanus shot!'

Jack waved his arm around at their surroundings 'Looks like you'd be in the right place this time then, buddy. Hot and cold running medical attention. They'll have you sewn up and ready to throw the dice again before you even have a chance to miss a turn. Hell, they'll even stamp your frequent treatment card!'

Sam felt compelled to put her side of the story 'Besides, I'd already said 'snap' and you should have known to keep your hand out of the way!'

Daniel took a seat on the end of Jack's bed. 'Okay, I'm in but only so long as we're all clear that this is Monopoly as a **non-contact** sport!'

'Indeed, DanielJackson.'

Catching proper sight of the board for the first time, Daniel leaned in for a closer look 'Jack? What sort of Monopoly is this?'

'It's Stargate Monopoly! Made it myself. The properties are all planets we've been to and I've grouped them by civilisation and evolutionary level.' He looked around to see Daniel's eyebrows heading north and Sam's eyes widen in shock. Teal'c looked as impassive as ever. 'What? You think I don't know these things? Jeez! Get a grip people!'

Daniel cleared his throat and slid a quick glance at Sam, who was trying not to grin, 'Jack, it's not that I have anything less than the highest regard for your acuity and intelligence but normally you do a pretty good job of convincing us that the most you notice about a planet is the presence, or absence, of arboreal vegetation.'

Sam was threatening to giggle again so Jack glared at her. 'Trees, Daniel, I notice whether or not they have trees. And I think we'd best not dwell on your opinion of my 'acuity'. I'm … irked … that you people think I don't read your reports.' Having reduced his scientific wunderkind to silence he risked a smile at Teal'c. 'So, T, which piece do you wanna be?'

'Thank you, O'Neill. My preference is for the Superior Headwear.'

'Top Hat it is then, Buddy!'

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_Hope you liked this – thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note** – okay, I know it was supposed to be a one-shot wonder but I spent my whole day at work today thinking about how it would have played out and this is the result.

**Disclaimer** – same as chapter 1, nothing belongs to me, etc, etc.

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'Sir? Can I just say that next time you tell me something's important? It Better. Damn Well. Be Important.'

Under the weight of his 2IC's fulminating glare, Jack found himself intimidated into nodding a slightly wary acceptance, although he still retained enough sense to make sure it was her who broke eye contact first. Normally he **loved** making her angry. Seeing her eyes flash (not in any snaky kinda way, obviously) and watching her self-control slip was right up there on his 'to do' list most mornings. Having said that, his finely honed self-preservation instincts were telling him he should be scared, very scared indeed, right about now.

After watching her stomp out of the infirmary (Well no, Carter doesn't actually stomp, he told himself, she does this sorta prowl, with menace, that is just way too sexy for words!) he turned back to his remaining team-mates. Daniel was gazing at him in open-mouthed astonishment and Teal'c had his own equivalent of a smirk going on.

'O'Neill. I believe you may have gravely offended Major Carter.'

'Yeah, you might be right.' He conceded, making a conscious effort to control his fear and dismissing the vaguest flicker of guilt that tried to make itself felt in the saner part of his brain with a quick shake of his head. He continued cheerfully, 'So, should we warn Siler?'

'For what reason should it be necessary to warn Master Sergeant Siler, O'Neill?'

Jack looked at the big Jaffa. Teal'c was one of his best buddies in the entire universe and, if really pushed, he'd probably admit to loving the guy but that didn't mean he knew jack-st about Earth women. In the same voice he used to explain elementary protocol to raw recruits, Jack explained, 'Because it's Siler she'll be taking it out on.'

Daniel's jaw snapped shut. 'Nooooo. I'm afraid I have to disagree there, Jack. Siler's certainly likely to be the next person to get his head bitten off, and I **do** think you have a moral obligation to warn him exactly **why** that's going to be happening, but she knows who she's really annoyed with, Jack, and that person, and that person alone, is ultimately going to pay.'

Jack's fear ratcheted up a notch, edging into the panic zone. Why, oh please God why, had he not taken more seriously the implications of aggravating Major Samantha Carter, dear friend and close ally of Dr Janet Fraiser, the woman who'd already threatened to drug him and abandon him naked in the gate room if he didn't toe the line?

It had seemed such a simple idea. Just change the properties on a Monopoly board for some of the places they'd visited over the years. Straightforward and plenty to choose from, he'd thought. And right there was where his problem had begun. There were actually so many to choose from that he'd had to narrow the choice by some other, slightly more selective, means. So he'd picked his favourites. Those places he had particularly fond memories of; the ones that made him smile, for whatever reason, when he thought of them.

He hadn't consciously recognised the pattern himself until he'd laid out his final choices but instead of having the good sense at that point to remedy the situation and add a few less well favoured planets to the board, to at least make it a little less obvious, he'd run with the idea until a lot of the Chance and Community Chest (or Unstable Wormhole and Interplanetary Alliance as they'd become on Jack's board) had also begun to take on a certain thematic similarity. The only excuse he could come up with was that, at the time, Dr Fraiser must still have been pumping him full of post-operative happy drugs

Despite that, the first few turns, and the resultant planets, had actually gone quite well. Daniel had asked him why he'd picked those particular ones and Jack had waved the questions off with a good stab at seeming quite casual about the whole thing 'Oh, it was Mayan, always had a thing for the Mayans! They were big on Astronomy, you know?' and 'Fish, Danny, ya gotta love a planet that's got fish!' No-one had said anything and he'd actually thought, for at least a few consecutive minutes, there was a chance he was the only one who ever needed to know there was any connection at all between these planets.

He was willing to concede that there had been a slightly strained moment when Teal'c had landed on Unstable Wormhole that first time and then read the card aloud to the rest of them. **'An under-dressed Tok'ra scientist makes a pass at you. Award yourself $10 compensation from the bank when she tells you the snake prefers someone else on an 'intellectual level'.'**

'I do not understand, 'O'Neill?' The smallest hint of consternation had skittered across Tealc's face before he bent an enquiring gaze Jack's direction.

Daniel had coughed once, in a strangled and slightly unconvincing way, before leaping to his feet and mumbling something about needing a drink. He'd shut the door behind himself as he sped out of the room but Jack had been pretty sure he could still hear him laughing in the hallway.

Not wanting to meet Carter's inevitably puzzled gaze on his right, Jack stared straight back at Teal'c. 'Oh, just something I heard happened to … someone … once.'

The game had moved on. Teal'c had accepted the lame response, although Jack still suspected Carter knew she wasn't getting the whole truth of the matter, and removed the appropriate note from the 'bank'. Daniel had returned to the infirmary, wiping his still streaming eyes 'Sorry about that, guys, I think my allergies must be playing up.' before settling his glasses back on the bridge of his nose and resuming his seat on the end of Jack's bed.

Jack had glared at him, just the once, before letting it drop. He had to admit that it could have been worse.

After that, they'd each travelled several times around the board without incident. Teal'c had ended up on the jail planet and then had to be persuaded that it was not possible to exit prison by force in Monopoly but at least Daniel had stopped asking why he'd picked these particular planets, although he'd also had to go get several more 'drinks' from the hallway. The last time, Jack had shouted at him that he should come back via the Commissary with coffee from the rest of them if he was going to keep doing that. Even though coffee was officially supposed to be off Jack's menu and he'd had to suffer Teal'c giving him 'the look' again.

He'd actually been watching Sam covertly, and part of his brain was thinking that he did that a lot these days but he was trying not to put too much thought into the concept, when Daniel took his next turn and he'd seen her brow furrow as she repeated the name of the planet to herself a couple of times under her breath. She'd still looked puzzled and he certainly wasn't going to give her any clues. 'Sir? Wasn't that the planet where they traded women for livestock and you had to tell them I was your wife?'

Feigning his own patchy recall, Jack leaned back on the pillows, careful to balance the weight of the cast on his right. 'Was that **that** one, Major?' He allowed himself a moment of quiet reflection, 'You're probably right but it was a looong time ago and, well the memory just ain't what it used to be.' She turned a level gaze on him and he thought it might be prudent to keep his eyes fixed firmly on the ceiling for a moment. For whatever reason, she decided to let it pass.

Unfortunately, Jack's next throw had seen him land on Interplanetary Alliance. With his prior knowledge of some of the options he could encounter, he had proceeded with some degree of caution. 'Umm, well I don't think that can be right, how about I just pick another one?' Moving to place the offending card on the night-stand next to Teal'c, and making sure it was on the opposite side from Sam, he suddenly found himself pinned to the bed. 'Aaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhh! What the hell are you doing? Watch the cast, Carter!'

Mind you, the pain was probably an incredibly small price to pay for the fact that Major Samantha Carter was laying on top of him. In a bed, no less! Okay, he was in the infirmary and Teal'c and Daniel were less than three feet away but it was still a bed so this was a good thing by any standard he was prepared to apply. God, she smelled great! And she was the best combination of soft yet firm in all the right places …

It was while his mind was preoccupied with processing the wealth of information suddenly becoming available to him that he felt the card being wrenched out of his hand and Sam levered herself off him to stand by the bed.

'Ow! Next time you plan on jumping me, could you at least give me the chance to set the mood a little!' He'd been aiming at light-hearted but it might have been pitched a little high because Daniel was looking at him strangely now. Jack took the opportunity to adjust his blankets and casually moved the trolled table back into position over his mid-section. Daniel smothered another laugh, so Jack kicked him.

'Ow!'

Sam dismissed Jack's attempt at witty repartee with the contempt it deserved, 'Certainly, Sir. Now let's see exactly what this says, shall we?' Jack, keeping his eyes fixed on a point somewhere past Daniel's left elbow, knew exactly what was coming.

'**You have to share body heat with your 2IC when trapped in Antarctica after the Stargate malfunctions. Your side-arm causes you more problems than your injuries. Pay $50 fine for not keeping the safety on your weapon at all times'**

Oh God, he **must** have still been under the influence of the painkillers when he put that one in!

She looked at him, obviously trying to work out whether the card she was reading from actually said what she thought it said. Jack chose that moment to edge his good hand towards the pile of untouched cards on the board in front of him but she was too quick.

'Reflexes not what they used to be, hey Sir?' She retreated to a safe distance and began to scan the cards in her hands, letting those she'd finished with drop to the floor one by one.

'**A member of your team harbours an alien in their home. Pay $30 into the Alpha Site car park for not picking 'He's building a stargate in her basement' in the betting pool.'**

'I hate you, Sir.'

'**When the SGC experiences a time loop event, you take the opportunity to tender your resignation and discover whether or not Major Carter tastes as good as she looks. She does. $200 fine for being a dirty old man.'**

Oh, he'd **definitely** been still under the influence of his post-operative painkillers for that one. She was going to kill him.

Sam was deceptively quiet. 'You deliberately did that when you **knew** I wouldn't remember? You **rat fink bastard**, … ' he waited while the last word struggled through her gritted teeth, ' …Sir.'

Despite everything, he was still struggling to contain a grin. God he loved this woman!

'**Your 2IC drinks local hooch while off-world and becomes extremely friendly towards you. Friendly enough to take off her … sweeeet! Pay $20 each to every player for lacking the maturity not to peek.'**

She squeaked, and it was a very un-Carter-like sound. 'What the hell! You swore on your **mother's grave** you didn't peek, Sir!'

'But my mother's not dead, Carter, so how can that be binding?'

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_Hope you liked it? When the muse taps me on the shoulder and shows me exactly how Sam's revenge pans out, I'll post it as another chapter._

_Thanks for reading (any reviews gratefully appreciated!)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note** – glad you've enjoyed this fiction. For a piece that was supposed to be a quick 1 chapter job it certainly seems to have grown legs and run away with itself. Thank you to everyone for your fabulous reviews and messages of support. There will be one final chapter after this but it's definitely not going to be up for another couple of days as **I need to get some sleep!** For all of you who liked the Monopoly, I'm still thinking about whether to do more with that (ie – a completely separate piece). As far as I'm aware, there is not a Stargate Monopoly already out there although I would love to hear to the contrary.

Same **disclaimer** as previous chapters applies. I'm borrowing everything from everybody who owns them and I gain nothing except pleasure from their use. If I could have a little more use of Jack O'Neill, please, that would be good.

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'So, Sam …'

'Yes, Daniel?'

He did his best to ignore the warning in her tone. 'Umm. Have you spoken to Jack recently?'

'You know I haven't, Daniel, so just let it go.' She picked the Naquadah generator up off the floor and heaved it onto the table in the middle of her lab with an audible thump. Daniel flinched as he tried to remember whether or not Naquadah was radioactive. She continued conversationally, without looking up from her task 'If Colonel Jonathan O'Neill has anything to say to me, anything at all, he knows exactly where to find me.', before picking up the alien artefact Daniel had earlier placed on the desk as an excuse for visiting her lab and hurling it forcefully at the closed door behind him.

Daniel barely managed to leap out of its path before it ricocheted off the doorframe and skittered past his foot. 'Right. Well. I guess I'll just take my …I have no idea what that was, Sam, but I'm pretty sure you've broken it!' Catching her eye, he decided that discretion might be the better part of valour in this case and settled for nudging the remains of the device out the door with his foot. Not wanting to aggravate her further he muttered a brief 'Okay then, I'll just be heading back to my lab now.' and slid around the door, closing it quietly behind himself before she could find anything else to throw.

It was ten minutes later in the Commissary and Daniel was half way through his second coffee, when Jack slid into the seat next to him. 'So how'd it go, Danny Boy? Did ya manage to persuade her to forgive me?' The tone might have been light-hearted but Daniel had been looking directly at Jack when the words were uttered and he knew exactly how much his friend was suffering.

Daniel went back to starting into his coffee cup and sighed. 'Jack, she's still throwing things. It's been six weeks and I think you might have to resign yourself to the fact that you really could have blown it this time.'

Jack slumped forwardacross the table, letting his hands flop over the edge and resting his face on his arms. His voice was muffled when he finally spoke 'I can't, Daniel. What the hell was I thinking?' He took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, 'How did I ever convince myself she'd see it as a joke?'

Daniel finished his coffee and stood up from the table, taking a moment to rest a hand on his friend's shoulder.

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In his dreams, Sam was whispering his name. He smiled and reached for her but she moved away and he was too tired and too pleased she was there at all to try and catch her again. 'Samantha, honey, come to bed. I'm too old for games.' There was a giggle, which didn't sound like Sam's, but then the dream faded and he was descending into blackness again.

'What did he just say, Janet?' Sam turned to her friend in shock.

Janet had both hands over her mouth and was trying to muffle her giggles. Finally managing to exert some degree of control over the laughter, she turned a wide-eyed gaze towards Sam and deadpanned 'I believe what Colonel O'Neill just said was 'Samantha, honey, come to bed. I'm too old for games.', but I could have been wrong. Did you hear something different?' The tone was solicitous but Sam wasn't fooled.

Fixing her 'dear friend' with a wide-eyed stare of her own she replied 'No, that's exactly what I heard. And if I ever find you've told that to a soul, I promise that your daughter will be hearing the full **un-abridged **version of exactly what, or should I say **who**, you did on your prom night.' She smiled sweetly and watched the colour drain from her diminutive friend's face.

'Okay, okay, no need to bring out the big guns! He's just dreaming,' Janet put her head on one side and considered the sleeping Colonel. 'which is actually quite surprising given the amount of sedative we've just pumped into him.' Even asleep, she could understand what Sam saw in him (Hell, most of the women on the base understood what Sam saw in him!), he was a beautiful man. To her mind he was way too paranoid about getting old however. That his hair was almost more white than grey these days detracted nothing from his looks, in fact in her personal opinion it served to add a certain gravitas that merely enhanced his appeal if anything.

She also thought he was probably totally unaware that in a base full of barely post-pubescent jar-head and fly-boys with too much time to spend in the gym, his own brand of rangy elegance, combined with his complete oblivion to the effect he had on women, was enough to make him stand out.

With a mental head shake she reminded herself that all of this still wasn't going to be enough to stop her and Sam from hanging him out to dry. She allowed herself a small smirk before getting down to the serious business of removing his clothing.

'Sam, be careful taking his shirt off' she hissed, 'the cast only came off the day before yesterday so he's bound to still be a little stiff.'

The supposedly comatose man on the floor between them mumbled something that might have been 'Am not!' and both women froze.

Deciding that attack might be her best form of defence, Sam moved to stroke the hair off his forehead and whispered quietly in his ear, 'I know you're not, sweetheart, just close your eyes and go back to sleep. I promise I'll be there when you wake up.'

His eyes stayed closed but he moved his head against her hand in pleasure, like a large, sleepy feline. 'I'll go to sleep if you give me a good-night kiss, Sam.' Her hand stilled. She knew he couldn't be awake, because of the amount of sedative Janet had given him earlier, so she just wanted to make sure he was asleep enough not to remember too much of this at any later point.

Sam had always resented the fact she had absolutely no memory of kissing Jack the first time. The only information she had was from the eye-witness accounts provided by the various other occupants of the men's locker room at the time, and their recollections had been lurid and prurient on the whole. The discovery that he'd kissed her during the time-loop episode had stung not because she didn't think he should have done it, in fact she was honest enough to know she would probably have done it herself if it had been her in that position rather than him, but because it was yet another kiss she couldn't even remember being there for.

Without checking to see whether Janet was watching all this, Sam leaned forward and brushed her lips across Jack's before gently pressing a kiss against the softness of his lower lip. He moaned, so she did it again and his mouth opened beneath hers. She found herself tasting the sweetness of him with her tongue.

'Sam!'

Janet's outraged whisper brought her back to reality. 'What the hell do you think you're doing?'

Still slightly dazed from the taste of Jack, as well as by the furious attack from her best friend, Sam tried to defend herself. 'Janet, I never realised he'd taste like chocolate!'

Understanding that Sam was going to need much sterner handling if they were to be able to go through with their plan, Janet decided to let loose at her. She hissed, 'Let me tell you, Young Lady, that's not cutting it for me! I don't care if he tastes like Champagne and strawberries, I did not just breach several hundred sets of Federal and Air Force regulations, along with potentially my Hippocratic Oath, to drug a superior officer **just so you could have your way with him on this floor!**' She continued in a slightly more reasonable tone, 'You're not here to do that, you're here to make him pay for being a total and complete idiot and for being the reason you've spent most of the last six weeks camped out on my sofa in tears, Sam.' She paused for breath. 'Now, I think for everyone's sake you should just go stand by the door while I get the rest of his clothes off.'

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Jack surfaced from sleep with the realisation that he was cold. Really cold. And his bed was much harder than he remembered it being. He wasn't normally this disorientated first thing in the morning and for a moment he wondered if he was in some strange off-world prison, but when he opened his eyes it was to the familiar grey walls of the SGC Gate Room.

The relief was short lived as other minor concerns began to clamour at his brain. Why am I laying on the floor of the Gate Room? Why am I not wearing a shirt? Hang on … why am I not wearing … anything!

The full truth dawned just seconds before the PA burst to life and he was gifted with a gentle wake up call courtesy of his CO, General George Hammond.

'**COLONEL O'NEILL! THERE HAD BETTER BE A DAMN GOOD REASON WHY YOU'RE SLEEPING NAKED ON THE FLOOR OF MY GATE ROOM'**

General Hammond obviously turned away from the microphone without turning it off because Jack could now hear the general hilarity being expressed by other voices continuing in the control room. He attempted to curl himself into a ball, shielding himself as far as possible from the gaze of the interested watchers in the control room.

However he could still pick the General's voice, fortunately now returned to a more reasonable level, as he issued the order 'Captain Rice, would you please go down to the Gate Room and escort Colonel O'Neill back to his quarters?'

'**CARTER!'**

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	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note** – Okay, well I've written this chapter and it's turned out to be a **lot more angsty than the others** so I hope I'm not going to disappoint too many of you. What I am considering doing is adding a further chapter containing some cards that Jack considered including. If anyone has anything they think should be included, feel free to let me know and I'll give you a credit!_

_**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and messaged**. I've had a brilliant time writing this piece and have a couple more ideas I'm going to try out so hope to be posting more stuff soon._

_Standard **disclaimer** applies – none of the characters are mine, I gain nothing from their use, etc, etc._

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It wasn't every Friday night you got home from work to a USAF Colonel asleep on your front doorstep.

Sam sighed. She'd really been hoping he'd be gone by the time she got around to coming home. Her elderly neighbour, Mrs Hennessey, had called her at work a little after four in the afternoon to say that a young man had pulled up outside Sam's house half an hour earlier in a bug-eyed truck and was now camped on her doorstep. A little further questioning had been enough for Sam to be fairly confident she knew the identity of the 'young' man in question and make her revise her plans to wrap up and head home for an early night.

That had been a little over seven hours ago and he'd gone from sitting on the steps to sleeping flat on his back on her front porch, arms straight out either side and his feet still resting on the first step down. A long flat rectangular package, wrapped in pale blue paper and finished with a white bow lay on the porch beneath his right hand. He was also snoring loudly enough that Sam sincerely hoped Mrs Hennessey had turned her hearing aids off for the night.

Sam nudged him, not particularly gently, in the ribs with her foot, thinking that she'd known the flat shoes were a bad choice when she'd put them on this morning, the black stilettos with the pointy toes would have been much better for the job.

Jack flinched and sat bolt upright before groaning and clutching his knee. 'Hey, Carter, give a guy a break will ya? Enough I'm in pain already without you needing to make it any worse!' He shot her a glance, continuing to rub his knee with one hand and investigate his ribs, where she'd kicked him, with the other. Sam kept her expression blank. This was a man who didn't warrant any encouragement as far as she was concerned.

'What are you doing here, Sir?'

It had been two days since The Gate Room Incident and Jack had managed to convince, as far as was possible, a fairly sceptical General Hammond that he must have been sleep-walking. Jack had then borne the speculation on his usual choice of sleeping attire with as much fortitude as possible and done his best to ignore the grins and innuendo. He'd been military his entire adult life and he knew they'd find something else to gossip about soon enough and he just hoped next time it wouldn't be him.

He'd been under no illusions regarding the identity of those actually responsible but so long as they'd gone to the effort of making sure the Gate Room security tape was doctored (rolling his eyes at the unintended pun when he thought it in his head) and the toxicology screen the General had ordered came back negative, he wasn't going to say anything. He also accepted that he undoubtedly deserved to have Carter want to make him squirm and he was hoping she'd now got it out of her system and they'd be able to return to some semblance of normality.

'Needed to talk to you.' He shifted uncomfortably, straightening his leg and then levering himself upright by grabbing onto the porch rail. 'Do you mind if we take this inside, Carter? I need to sit down.'

She was tempted to tell him he had a perfectly good truck parked roughly 20 feet away but she knew she was going to have to talk to him at some point so doing it on her turf was probably as good as it was going to get.

She opened the door in silence and headed into the house without waiting to see if he followed. She knew he would but she wasn't giving an inch until she had to.

Jack continued to grumble complaints as he stepped into her tiny lounge and slumped into one of her squishy sofas. Sam decided that despite the lateness of the hour, she really needed a drink for this. Opening her refrigerator she pulled out a bottle and then rummaged through her kitchen drawers for the corkscrew. Eventually finding it, she carried the bottle, along with two glasses, back into the lounge and sat down opposite Jack, carefully placing the bottle on the low table between them.

Finally silent, Jack leaned forward and picked up the corkscrew, using it to open the bottle with an ease she'd never suspected he possessed.

He didn't look up from the task. 'Get a grip, Carter, it's not rocket science.'

For the first time since she'd seen him on her porch she almost smiled.

'So. What **are** you doing here, Sir?' She tried to keep the tone curious rather than interrogative. 'And how long have you been waiting for me to get home?'

Jack didn't even bother responding to the second question and in answer to the first he tossed the wrapped package into her lap. 'Like I said, I needed to talk to you, Carter.' He poured them each a generous glass and leaned back into the sofa, bringing his ankle up to rest on the other knee and stretching the arm holding his glass along the back of the sofa.

Sam unwrapped the parcel, not all that surprised when it turned out to be the Monopoly set they'd played with all those weeks ago in the Infirmary. She looked at Jack, not particularly wanting to phrase the question.

Jack reached a long arm forward and moved the bottle sideways on the table 'Get the board out, Carter, and lay it on the table.'

'Sir, I'm not playing this game with you. If you remember, I didn't like it much the first time around.'

Exasperated, Jack growled at her 'I know that, Carter, and I'm not asking you to play the damn thing. Just get the board out and lay it on the table.'

Curiosity getting the better of her, she unfolded the board and placed it on the table before reaching for her glass and moving back into the corner of the sofa. She watched him expectantly over the rim of the glass, not really sure what he was going to do next.

Jack was still, preternaturally still for him. His fingers were relaxed around the stem of the glass as he balanced it on the back of the sofa but his face was shadowed. The only movement she could see was the slow rise and fall of his chest and a gentle pulse just above the open neck of the blue shirt he was wearing.

Realising she couldn't see his face, and she wanted to, Sam reached over the arm of the sofa and turned on a table lamp to her left.

Jack flinched but it seemed to rouse him from whatever contemplation of his demons he'd been indulging in.

'Sam, I am really sorry if you were offended in any way by the stuff I put on those stupid cards. You have to know that I would never intentionally hurt you.'

It had been important for her to hear the words and she was glad he'd said them but she'd known he was sorry from the moment he'd tried to hide the first card. She waited to see what else he had to say.

'Okay. I guess I never really thought it was going to be that simple.' He lifted his glass and she watched as he tipped his head back and downed half of it. When he'd settled his arm back along the sofa, his eyes moved to the board between them. 'Sam, do you know why Daniel was laughing so hard at the places I put on the board?'

She looked at the board, the locations were a mixture of names and gate references; none of them meant anything immediate to her but she remembered querying Jack on whether one of them had been a rural planet they'd visited in their first year as SG1. She'd been pretty convinced he was feigning a degree of disinterest that hid something more important but she hadn't been able to prove it so she'd let it go. She wished now she'd pushed it.

Jack moved to sit forward, hunching over the game and scrutinising the board himself. Finding the one he was looking for, he pointed. 'Linyos. That's the one you asked me about and, yes, I had to say you were my wife to stop the locals trying to buy you but that's not what I remember it for.' He risked looking at her face. 'I remember it as the first place you and I shared a tent.'

He put his finger on another place on the board 'Varsoosh. It had fish but as far as I was concerned, the most enticing thing in the water was always going to be you. You swam for an hour while I was on lookout on that ridge and for all the attention I was giving it, half a dozen Goa'uld could have landed their ships right on top of me and I wouldn't have noticed.'

Sam gasped, shocked to hear him admit he'd spied on her.

His finger moved again, this time to a gate reference, PL3 4RY. 'Three day mineral survey mission. You know how much I **adore** mineral survey missions so you smuggled four packets of M&M's and half a dozen Hershey bars through the gate just to keep me happy. You and I shared watch the first night and we ate the whole lot.' Sam found herself smiling back when grinned at her. 'That was one hell of a sugar high, Carter!'

Suddenly serious he looked back at the board, searching for another reference. Finding it, his eyes returned to her face. 'Prenath. Abandoned Goa'uld stronghold. Daniel found some tablet talks about the overthrow of a God about 5000 years ago. He's jumping up and down, saying it might give a clue how to defeat the Goa'uld and I suddenly realise you're not there. Two of the worst hours of my life to find you; you'd fallen down a damn staircase.'

She cut him off. 'I didn't fall, Sir, it collapsed underneath me!'

'Whatever, Sam. I saw you lying there and I thought you were dead.'

Sam remembered. Remembered Jack calling her name and telling her to hang on, he'd get her out of there. Then he was beside her, checking her for injuries and getting as close to panic as he ever got in the field, which wasn't actually that close. She'd had slight concussion but nothing more serious. They'd been making their way slowly back to Daniel and Teal'c when he'd suddenly grabbed her for a quick sideways hug and told her 'Thought I'd lost ya there, Major.'. She'd been surprisingly touched by his rare display of affection and done her best to brush it off by telling him she wasn't that easy to get rid of. They'd never discussed it again.

'Sam, that's where I first realised exactly how important you were to me.'

He finished the contents of his glass and set it down on the table, leaning towards her and clasping his hands together loosely between his knees. 'I have to tell you this and I've rehearsed it in my head a hundred times so just let me say it and be done.' He looked her directly in the eye 'And Sam, if you interrupt me, So Help Me God, I will get up and walk out of here and I will never discuss this with you again as long as I live.'

She knew he was serious and she'd never felt less like interrupting anybody in her entire life.

'The Frat Regs are there for a reason, and it's a very good reason, but I don't ever want you to think that I don't care for you very, very deeply just because there's a rule that says I'm not supposed to.' He sighed. 'The rules just stop me from actually doing, they don't prevent me from feeling.' He pulled back from her as though in pain and ran both hands through his hair. 'And, Sam, it was you who wanted to leave it in the room, all that stuff that came out with the Zatarc testing. Not me. If you'd given me any indication then that you wanted more, I would have moved heaven and earth to do that.'

He stood.

'So I'm sorry if sometimes I get a little bent out of shape and do stupid things that make you think I don't take you seriously or I don't care but you've got to believe me when I say I do that because it's the only way I can deal with what's going on in my head.'

Without getting out of her seat, she caught his hand as he passed her on his way to her front door.

'Jack.'

He stopped but didn't turn back to her.

'Jack?' She made it a question but she wasn't quite sure what she was asking. He looked down at their joined hands before raising hers to his lips and brushing a soft kiss across her knuckles. It was a swift gesture of tenderness and regret and once he was done he settled her hand back on the sofa and again moved to leave.

He was about to pull the door shut when he turned to her with a sudden smile. 'Oh by the way, Carter, you might want to stop Walter selling too many more copies of the original tapes from the other night in the Gate Room.' He paused to let the implication of that sink in. 'Or at least check he's got the subtitling right. He claims he's cross-referenced each of the cameras and had them checked by a lip-reading expert but …'

………………………………………………….

_Okay, it's done. Not as much humour in the final chapter but it's where the story was going so I hope it's not too much angst for the humour fans?_

_As ever, reviews are welcome, positively encouraged, not to saypleaded for..._


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